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Friday, January 29, 2010

Cooking Diary I & II

The one good thing at this period of time that I am not working and at home taking care of them is that I slowly learn to cook decent dishes. I am of wife material already! I also scrubbed the toilet and cleaned out the refrigerator. You cannot believe how 'unclean' the freezer is!! My dad cooks all the time but he is a very messy and unhygienic man. My mum didn't bother to clean it because he instructed her not to. And even if she did clean it up, it will just be messy again. I think the fridge have not been cleaned before. So I just want to say it was a lot of work, and I know I did a good job. HAHAHA.

These were yesterday's. Cod fish.

Stir-fry broccoli with chicken.

The day before. Fried Char Siew egg.

Cabbage fried rice.

I know they don't look fantastic but they actually don't taste too bad. My parents think so too. I mean they have to say its nice right. Ha!
It is Saturday today and I decided to give myself a break and eat takeouts. I think I won't cook tomorrow too. Cooking is tiring sometimes!!

Yipeeee! I can catch a movie tonight! I want to watch Hachiko A Dogs Story. I need a box of tissue in the theater. Anyone watched it yet? It is a remake from a Japanese movie based on a true story.

Lastly, I want to thank you girls for all the encouraging and supportive comments. Reading them lift my mood! Thank you

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What are the things that the boyfriend can do which irks you?

I hate it and cannot accept a boyfriend who forget to meet me. I finally get a little break today because my brother is off and my uncle came over. But I got to be back by a certain time because my brother have to go for night classes. I really was looking forward to it because I was in a bad mood for the past 2 days thanks to my dad. More on that later. So by the time he came, it was only left with a few hours more. Anyway, I end up coming back home.

So my father had signed the papers for discharge despite the doctor's advise that he is not in a stable condition. He then instructed me to pick him up right away, when the time was already 5 odd in the evening. He seemed to had forgotten that his wife is at home. I know I sound bitter. But he really deserve it. Even the senior nurse said 'speaking to your dad makes me vomit blood'. That was 2 days ago when he signed the paper. I then told him I need to get my uncle to pick him up and my brother needs to be there so I said Thursday. This morning bright and early he called me and said he got an ambulance to send him back. I really really want to kill myself. My poor mother have to talked and coaxed and shouted at him before he get some sense into his head. Imagine my mother have been doing this for so many years. I have not seen her coax my dad like he is a little child before. I know I can never do this. I've come to get a even better understanding of my father's character. He is childish, immature and selfish. None of my mum's siblings can tolerate him, they visited him in the ward in accounts of my mother. My uncle told me today, 'I will still come up and help whenever I can after your father comes back, but I am only doing this for your mother.'

It has been more than 1 week since my mother got home, and I am starting to feel drained. I might really collapse when I need to handle 2 of them. And 1 being a very difficult man. I am only hoping now that he does not make the house a living hell when he gets back.

I seem to have drifted off topic. Sorry for all the reading and all my unfilial thoughts. I feel sorry for the boyfriend that he have to go through all these with me, but I am still very mad with him.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Purchases over the weeks

I manage to go out in between visits to the hospital.
So here are the photos! This will be a 'more-photos-less-talk' post.

I am currently using the white line because the sales person said it was for severely damaged hair. My hair is not colored nor permed, just very thick and coarse.
So probably it is not suitable.

I got the Neutrogena sunblock for when I am on the bf's bike in the afternoon when the sun rays are so strong. I haven't got a chance to used it yet cos my mum was discharged 3 days ago and I have to be at home with her.
Been wanting to buy my 2nd MM eyeshadow palette and it was on 20%! I haven't use it yet. And Canmake Cream Cheek!!
I was struggling with colour 03 (Strawberry Whip) and 04 (Vitamin Orange).
Then I thought I have quite a few pinks already and I've been wanting an orange or brown. It was highly recommended by Yumeko. I am loving it!
I shall not say much of the product because I believe everyone that own it feel the same for this super super blush!

Lastly, I got a friend to help me purchase this!

I can't believe I did not purchase anything from Jill Stuart when I went to HK. The bf paid 80% of the whole trip so it is only right I don't buy something expensive. Haha!

In 08 Crystal Sky. I like purple shadows! So I will get a higher end one for purple palette. But I am not good with my Dior Night Butterfly palette so I got this! I can't bear to use it yet. And it is scented! With a slight rose scent.

Remember I said I bought 3 jackets? These are 2 of them. The 3rd one is at the bf's place.
Biker jacket. I love it a lot because it is double breasted and its a swing jacket.

So OL-ish isn't it?


Thursday, January 14, 2010

A break + Helena Rubinstein

Yesterday was terrible. Utterly terrible. My dad was.... being the way he always is. Which means intolerable. The therapist taught me and brother how to handle and transfer my dad from the bed to the wheelchair. Everything went smoothly for awhile. When the therapist start to tell us about what type of wheelchair and commode chairs my dad needs, he start to give his ridiculous comments and suggestions. He said he can go back to work in a week, he do not need a wheelchair with the functions, he is very fit and healthy, we can wash and change his dressing at home.......blah blah blah.... Basically, he thinks and tell me that do not listen to the staffs, doctors and therapists. He know what to do and he knows the best. He knows EVERYTHING. Doctors with doctorates, degrees and phds do not know anything.
So I got REALLY REALLY stressed out and broke down there in the ward. Not once but twice.
He thinks that he is helping us, but fact is he is stressing us more.

Today, we finally settle the wheelchairs issue. I was so glad. But he end the day with a great big announcement. That he is going home tomorrow.
..........................................
I have yet to arrange the furniture and make the home wheelchair friendly and he wants to be discharge. I have not even purchase the wheelchair and commode chair. And because our main door have steps, I need to get a ramp done so that I will be able to push him up. The bf will be helping me to check it out. To make this post more interesting,

I was telling him, being my boyfriend is so much hard work!! Thank you baby!

So I was looking forward to our evening out yesterday but because of what happened with my dad earlier that day, I was moody and sensitive the rest of the evening. The poor bf had to be so patient with me. I am so sorry but I could not helped it. I just could not pluck myself out from the emotional state. He bought me these to make me happy.

He bought me the HR mascara!! This product is a SPLURGE!!!! It is soooo costly!

We had Korean because I wanted to. After watching Cinderella Man. Haha.
I like the kimchi(just the right amout of spiciness), anchovies and cucumbers.

I had Beef Bibimbap. I can taste or chew any beef. Think I'll order Beef with rice next time.

The bf had Squid with rice. We were not told that it was spicy and the bf can't take spicy! Poor thing! I exchanged with him in the end. But it was too spicy for me too! Haha.

Kimchi soup. I initially wanted the Ginseng Chicken Soup because it was the highly recommended one from reviews, but it was so expensive. $21!


I am not going to visit my dad tomorrow because he wants to be discharge tomorrow. HAHAHA.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Getting better

Its been a week since Mum and Dad was admitted to hospital. Wow. I can't believe its been a week. The past week was so busy. I learned so much about my dad during all the hospital visits. I also just learn that my brother had a bank loan to cover some stuffs. It shocked me. I did not mentioned about my mum because I had grew closer to her these few years though I also began communicating more with my dad. But he still sees me as a little girl so he does not share with me his financial stuffs. Now that he is warded in bed, he needs me to clear his credit cards bills, the house loans and the property tax. I remember I used to grumble so much about the fact that I am still sharing a room with my brother at this age, but until 2 days ago when my uncle came from KL and visited my dad with me then I knew the reason why all the other rooms in the house is rented out. I am sure a little part of him wished he could give me a room but then again he is always telling me that he never had a room too when growing up. You know elderly likes to compare with their past. Haha.

My uncle was also telling me that my mum dote so much on my brother whereas my dad dotes on me. Haha. Then, the bf also commented that my aunt likes my brother more. I was so surprised! And asked why did he think so and he said it is obvious. Me on the other hand cannot sense it. But that's good. I mean I'm like so old already, this kind of stuffs does not bothers me. BUT! Contradictorily, when my uncle said that I've done a good job, I kinda feel better. Like finally someone sees and acknowledge that. Because what ever I have done so far, my aunt or everyone else doesn't seems to see it. You know how in Mangement lesson about motivators or push factors in a job. Haha.

So! I just felt like I've grown so much in a week!
Today I was also informed by the nurse that I will need to learn how to move or handle my parents in wheelchair. It is like a course. And I will need to rent wheelchairs.

I also went for an interview this morning. Seems ok. Well... we'll see. I might not be able to take up the job even if I am give the position. I need to recharged my batteries soon. Do something fun with the bf. Looking forward to his off day.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Tough

My parents only have me & my brother.

They cannot depend on others, we cannot depend on others.
At least not all the time.
I have been busying with my parents hospitalization. Making calls, bringing them things, visiting them everyday, settling my dad's hospital leaves, visiting the temple. I have not been able to do anything for myself except maybe watching television. But I am not complaining now. I am just upset with my brother. Being an elder brother, he is not doing anything. He had only visited our parents twice. He can still go to gym. He hasn't done what he was supposed to do. He didn't convey my dad's message to me. Maybe because he is a guy and guys are just not attentive and careless. I mean I only have him now and I trust him to get certain things done. Or maybe he have his arrangements and he got to work. It is not that I don't want to be understanding. But I am just worried.

To make everything worse, relatives have been telling me not to get a job so soon. When I hear that I really couldn't handle it. No job no income. I will need to be at home to take care of them and bring them to physios. I am doing my part for the family and I just feel that my brother is not contributing.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Acceptance

Can I accept the fact.
Will it really be like what my aunt said.
Am I selfish.
I am.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Rock bottom

Mum and dad are in hospital. I got back at 6am this morning. Was at the hospital for 8hrs+. I think A&E should not be called A&E. They were so slow and inefficient. I am just glad they are both fine now. There might be more surgeries but the most important thing is that nothing is life threatening, or will affect their mobility. Physios are definitely needed.
Whoever you are. I hope you rot in hell. I hope you are regretting. But I don't suppose you have a heart to begin with.

I think being out of a job now is not a very bad thing after all, I can visit them more often. I can do the chores.

This is all quite tiring. I need to start sending resume soon.
My skin is getting worst. The interview is drawing near.
My brother said this should be rock bottom already right.
I kept quiet and thought I thought last time when my mum had a brain surgery and my dad was in the cell was rock bottom. Now..... maybe this is rock bottom. Those are not. So things should not get any worst than this.
Life should slowly get a turn for the better.

It is always darkest before the dawn.

Actually I would have make this a protected post. But I have no idea how to.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It is 2010

It is a new year. I recalled from an earlier entry in the beginning of 2009 that I asked myself what I have achieved in 2008. Now I asked myself again what have I achieved in 2009. I looked at the new year resolutions I made and glad that at least I kept some of them. Ha! But I still have yet to get my driving license! What does this means? It means a whole year of procrastinating!
I am so ashamed. The new year also begins with me without a job. I left my previous company because I really do not like it. And I learn yet again that no one is good and kind by nature. I stupidly always believe so. Tsk tsk. I don't belong in this world. I never seem to learn my lesson.
I also lost some important things in life but I gained some important ones too.

On to happier things!
This was Christmas luncheon. It was better than last year(2008). Saw some old school mates.
Hi
Geri!





Played secret Santa and look what I got!
Yippee! The secret Santa knows that I love cute organizers and planners!


Got this from the bf's mum.


Flash

Without flash

Vouchers from client. All went to Marks & Spencer.
Yummy munchies and a black leggings.

I had been shopping quite a bit these few days. I'm starting to feel bad. Why did I buy 3 jackets!? Erm....because they are on sale? And I know they will come to good use.
I can't find the USB for my camera guess I will have to post the pics later.

How is everybody's Christmas??
What's your favourite present?

I tried to curl my bob the other day.
I think it is a failed attempt.


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